[Lifestyle] My mum is having sex with her boss

Dear Aunty Julie,

I found out recently that my mother is having sex with her boss. He comes around all the time and I used to think it’s just office stuff but no, it’s not. I caught them pants down and I don’t feel good about it. What should I do?

Help me.

Patrick, Abuja

Dear Patrick,

Sex

It must be hard to be keeping this in, and it is very difficult to know what to do in these tricky situations. You haven’t mentioned if your mother is single or married to your dad. Is she currently in a relationship or not. If she is, this is an extra burden on you, knowing that she is betraying someone else. It doesn’t sounds like your mother is trying hard to keep it from you, especially if you have gone on a trip together.

If you don’t feel good about it, the first thing I would suggest is working out why this is the case. Perhaps your mother or her boss is in a relationship already, or that they work together, or just the fact they are being so secretive.

When you know what it is that you don’t feel good about, work out the best way to deal with it. Would you be able to cope with it continuing and you keeping it a secret? Perhaps you just need someone to talk to, like a friend, who you know will keep it to themselves.

Or, if it is really bothering you and you feel like you have to do something, you might need to talk to your mother about it. This can be really hard to do, but she may be able to explain her actions and make you feel better as a result. Or she may make some changes if she knows how it affects you.

This can be a scary conversation, but you just need to simply tell her that you know about her and her boss and it makes you feel uncomfortable. You aren’t being accusing or rude, just letting her know how you feel. If that seems too overwhelming, sometimes it is easier to write a letter rather than approach her about it.

You don’t have control over her actions and it isn’t your responsibility to make sure she makes good decisions. If things don’t change, make sure you have someone that you can talk to and be a support for you.